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Friday, November 11th, 2011
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10:55 pm - Intro
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iconotakeu
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Hello I just joined. My name is Ann I'm 42 and have been under psychiatric care since age 10. I have been on just about every pill or a cocktail of pills since. 32 years later I am no better than I was at 10, in my opinion worse. I am currently still in the system but I lost hope.
I have no idea, because I started therapy so young what the list of drugs are they prescribed for me nor what they have done to my brain and/or body. I do know I no longer can pronounced words that once flowed out of my mouth, my short term memory is shoot, I am having physical problems (high white blood cells for no reason according to my hematologist), it's harder for me to fight colds - I guess because of my white blood cells, numbness for no reason the doctors can find out in one of my fingers, vision problems not normal for a 42 year old, pancreas problems and a fatty liver (but that is probably due to my being a bit overweight and I'm also on psychiatric pills that make you gain weight) and mentally I am the worse I've ever been.
In the past I did experience my share of adverse side effects from various psychiatric drugs one being Buspar which had my body jumping (feeling like a an electrical shock went through it) every few minutes but the worse out of all of them was when I was 15 (I have no idea what cocktail the docs had me on) which almost completely paralyzed my bladder and colon for an entire two months. It took me about 15 to 20 minutes to just urinate. The doctor who prescribed the medications (which I don't remember because I was, as I stated only 15 at the time) told my family, "oh it's nothing to worrying about this side effect is rare but it goes away slowly - looking back now just totally dismissing my discomfort.
I was until about 6 months ago an advocate for the psychiatric community which I hope helps those who actually need it. Now I loath the community and doubt it helps many people. I was not given any test to rule out a medical reason for the way I was acting. My problems are with depression, very bad anxiety/panic attacks and now I feel just totally hopeless.
However I do not know how to move away from it because I need help to slowly take me off of the cocktail of drugs I am currently on - I cannot go cold turkey. I do believe in many ways psychiatrists are legal drug dealers who really don't care if a drug or drugs work, if they don't just prescribe different ones to keep you in the system and therapists are highly paid "best friends" whom talk to you not because they actually care nor know more than you (I had to actually educate my last one on certain subjects) but just sit there looking at the clock.
I just found this community and really wanted to get just part of my story out and to ask the BIG questions, how can I best handle getting myself off these drugs within a system that wants to keep you on them? Anyone been in my shoes, had any experiences like mine - actually any input would be nice.
~ Thanks in Advance Ann
P.S. - Sorry if some parts of this doesn't make sense or I skipped words and such, my writing as well as my spelling/grammar is mush now.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, July 2nd, 2011
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4:38 am
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crw1968
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Greetings from ptsdcarer, a new community focused on the carers of those who suffer from PTSD, CPTSD, abuse, trauma, DID, DESNOS and/or DDNOS. There is a very astonishing lack of support for those who care for people with PTSD and other stress/trauma related disorders, so this community was created as a way to bridge the gap. We offer resources, support, a place to vent, a place to learn, and hopefully to build a network of strong and capable supporters for their loved one with PTSD. This community also supports those with PTSD who have other, comorbid disorders. Those with PTSD are welcome to join as well. Thank you for reading and take care.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 3rd, 2011
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6:17 am - a victory for survivors!
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seasontoseason
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January 27 & 28, 2011 The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) convened the meeting of the Neurological Devices Panel of the Medical Devices Advisory Committee.
They were to give recommendations on the shock machine to determine if it should remain a Class III Experimental Device not proven to be safe or effective, or if the shock machine should be down-classified to a Class II Device, rendering it safe and effective.
The Panel recommended that the Shock Machine remain a Class III Experimental Device, and that it was not proven to be safe or effective.
Our work is not over - especially concerning the panels decision on catatonia. We must tell them that this is the essence of forced treatment - to make something considered unsafe for someone to enter into without informed consent - available to someone who cannot give consent.
Please get involved.
www.MindFreedom.org www.TheOpalProject.org www.StopForceNow.org
Speakers in this video include; Loretta Wilson, Dorothy Dundas, Vince Boehm, Donald Johnson, Kendrick Moxon, John Breeding.
Video: T.J. Calcagno & Lauren Tenney
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tQ4vKpJo2KA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, March 27th, 2011
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6:36 am - it's the "let's find a new cure that's worse than the disease!" roundup
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| Friday, March 4th, 2011
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3:42 am - New advertising for antipsychotics forecasts another change in the language
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seasontoseason
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New advertising for antipsychotics forecasts another change in the language
Name changes; a new name = an untarnished reputation As previously discussed, antipsychotics (the older class) were originally marketed in the United States as “neuroleptics,” and are still known by that name in Europe. The neuroleptic label (literally meaning “brain seizure”) was dropped in favor of, first “anti-schizophrenics” and, later, “antipsychotics.” In other words, the name for the class of drugs represented by chlorpromazine and all its relatives changed over time, and the change in name was a direct reflection of how drug companies wanted the drugs to be perceived. Obviously, a name that implies the drug causes seizures isn’t too good for business; and “antipsychotic” is preferable to “anti-schizophrenic” because it allows for usage amongst other populations beyond schizophrenics (for example, those diagnosed with “bipolar disorder”).  If it weren't highly illegal (false advertising, you see), they probably would've switched to "happy pills" next. Drug classification is kind of unique amongst scientific systems of classification in this regard; a drug is assigned to a specific class based on either active ingredient or the condition it is meant to counteract. This allows the same drug to belong to several different classes; for example Wellbutrin is both an “antidepressant” and a “smoking cessation agent.” This also makes it possible for the same drug to be reassigned to new categories as new usages are approved. Contrast this to the biological system of classifying life: once you are assigned to a specific category, that’s it. If cats were both “mammals,” along with being “mice-eaters” and “milk-drinkers,” you wouldn’t really be classifying them; you’d be describing them. Classification is definitive (one, unchanging label); description is much more subjective (what once was an “adorable kitty” becomes a “snarling furball” under certain circumstances).  Only one label for this cat: "kittykatus furious" So the pharmaceutical drug classifcation system isn’t a classification system at all; it’s a descriptive system. And this is what pharmaceutical companies are really doing when they change the name of a drug class, or reassign a drug to a new class: they’re describing it differently, in order to affect the way it is perceived by potential consumers (or even the FDA). Aside from being useful in avoiding patent expiration dates, this maneuver is a great way to escape bad press for a particular chemical in a particular context. When I say “bad press,” you say “antipsychotics!” That’s right… the past couple months have been one bit of bad news after another for antipsychotics. Several recently published studies show that they cause brain shrinkage, weight gain, Parkinson’s-like symptoms, diabetes, seizures, heart problems – a whole laundry list of incredibly undesirable side effects. And this is national news (though a few tenacious “researchers” – funded by pharma, of course – are still courageously arguing that brain shrinkage might not be so bad, after all. Good one, guys.). Could it be that consumers are going to be a little wary when they hear the word “antipsychotic”? Might they be a bit more apt to do some research, and not just click on the pharma-funded hits at the top of Google, but delve into the blogosphere, survivor testimonies, or perhaps some of the clinical literature? Maybe, and that’s certainly a risk to the billions of dollars of profits these drugs bring in every year. I think it’s time for a name change, folks. And that was my long-winded way of getting to the point, which is… This is what I saw in my sidebar today:  Accompanied by this text [excerpt]: Antidepressants have increased the risk of suicidal thoughts and actions in some children, teenagers, and young adults. Patients of all ages starting treatment should be watched closely for worsening of depression, suicidal thoughts or actions, unusual changes in behavior agitation and irritability. Patients, families, and caregivers should pay close attention to any changes, especially sudden changes in mood, behaviors, thoughts, or feelings. This is very important when an antidepressant medicine is started or when dose is changed. Report any change in these symptoms immediately to the doctor. SEROQUEL XR is not approved for patients under the age of 18 years. (from online SEROQUEL XR advertisement; emphasis added) Wait, Seorquel? The one classed as an “atypical antipsychotic”? The one that is not and has never been classed as an antidepressant, nor has it been approved for use as an antidepressant? [Note: it can be used as an augmentor, ie prescribed alongside another antidepressant if that antidepressant is not effective, and it can also be prescribed for “bipolar depression.” But it CANNOT be prescribed as sole therapy for clinical depression, and IS NOT an antidepressant.] Seroquel, made by Astra-Zeneca, which just paid literally the biggest fine in the history of corporate America [$520 million] for deliberately marketing a drug for off-label uses? And that drug was… SEROQUEL? Check it: Seroquel is AstraZeneca’s second best-selling pharmaceutical and made sales of $4.87 billion in 2009, up 12% on 2008. The drug was first granted FDA approval in 1997 for the treatment of manifestations of psychotic disorders. Three years later FDA proposed narrowing the approval to the short-term treatment of schizophrenia only. In January 2004, U.S. approval was also given for the short-term treatment of acute manic episodes associated with bipolar disorder. Finally in 2006, the drug was sanctioned by FDA for the treatment of bipolar depression. The government’s investigation was brought about as a result of a whistleblower lawsuit. The resulting allegations stated that between 2001 and 2006 AstraZeneca promoted Seroquel to psychiatrists and other physicians for disorders not covered by FDA approval. These off-label indications spanned a broad range of conditions including aggression, Alzheimer disease, anger management, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar maintenance, dementia, depression, mood disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and sleeplessness. Moreover, it is claimed, AstraZeneca promoted Seroquel to physicians who don’t normally treat patients with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, the two approved disorders for the drug. (from a recent news story) Oh, ok. That Seroquel. That Seroquel that’s getting really bad press as an antipsychotic; that’s the one they’re starting to call an “antidepressant” or an “antidepressant augmentor.” Actually, they’re doing the same thing with Abilfy (another atypical antipsychotic), as demonstrated in this recent commercial. Notice that they don’t use the word “antipsychotic” anywhere; the emphasis is on antidepressants: It’s an antipsychotic wide trend. They’re not really antipsychotics anymore (since they’re increasingly getting such a bad rap); they’re antidepressant augmentors, or maybe just plain ol’ antidepressants. Or at least they will be, as soon as pharma can get the FDA fully on board. Keep watching these Orwellian language changes. It’s doubleplusgood fun, don’t you agree?
source
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 19th, 2011
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3:41 am - consumer-managed crisis residential programs
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seasontoseason
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Crisis Residential Facilities Healthier Than Psychiatric Hospitals? Study Finds More Mental Health Improvements at Consumer-Managed Program OAKLAND, Calif., Aug. 18 (AScribe Newswire) -- For people with grave psychiatric conditions, consumer-managed residential programs may be the way to go, a new study suggests. Not only are the daily costs of these facilities cheaper than psychiatric hospitals, but patients of these programs may get healthier than their counterparts in traditional, locked institutions, according to the study, results of which have been published online by the American Journal of Community Psychology (http://www.springer.com/psychology/community+&+environmental+psychology/journal/10464) . More specifically, the study's authors found that participants in a consumer-managed crisis residential program (CRP) experienced significantly greater improvement on several interviewer-rated and self-reported psychopathology measures than did participants assigned to a locked, inpatient psychiatric facility (LIPF). They also found that service satisfaction was dramatically higher among patients at the CRP. Researchers surveyed and tested the study's participants when they entered their randomly assigned facilities, then 30 days, six months and a year after admission. Based on the results of these interviews, the study's authors have concluded that less restrictive crisis residential centers are at least as effective as standard care for adults with psychiatric crises who are not considered a danger to others. "What is clear from the results is that these patients could do as well or better in a less restrictive environment," said Tom Greenfield (http://www.phi.org/people-bio.cfm?AG=A132), the study's first author and center director of the Alcohol Research Group (http://www.arg.org/) at the Public Health Institute (http://www.phi.org/) . "This raises an important question about why people in mental health crisis need to be committed to a large, expensive and locked inpatient facility when a small, well-run consumer-managed program can work as well or better?" Conducted by a team of researchers from the Public Health Institute, the University of Arizona (http://www.arizona.edu/), Veterans Affairs (http://www1.va.gov/directory/guide/facility.asp?ID=104) and Stanford University Medical Centers (http://www.stanfordhospital.com) , the study surveyed 393 mental health patients admitted during crises. To be included in the study, participants had to have been brought to a county-operated crisis clinic and either been diagnosed with a major mental disorder, admitted by a psychiatrist for "serious symptoms" such as hallucinations, or deemed a danger to themselves by the admitting psychiatrist. Those deemed a danger to others were excluded from the study. Participants provided their informed consent to participate in the study, then were randomly assigned to a CRP or LIPF. The CRP was an unlocked, six-bed hostel that had an accessible garden and other shared amenities such as a kitchen and laundry room. The CRP's program director and day-to-day staff were all mental health consumers who had community college training, a strong understanding of local mental health resources, and basic helping skills. Part-time psychiatrists were available to prescribe medications. The LIPF was a county-operated and professionally staffed facility that operated on a medical model of treatment. All of its 80 beds were on locked units. This was a modern facility with windows looking onto atrium spaces. It was located on county-owned property only a hundred yards from the CRP and characterized by high staff morale. John Buck, who directs the non-profit mental health agency Turning Point Community Programs, believes that the two programs' differences explain the study results. Turning Point operates a CRP in Sacramento, CA. "In a smaller setting, things are more intimate," said Buck. "People get the sense that they are being listened to. And because we staff our facility with people who are in recovery, they can transmit a greater sense of compassion and provide a model for how to get through. I think this plays well for people's hopes that they can recover." Acknowledging that some patients may require inpatient care, especially if they refuse to take medications, Buck added, "What I hope people will gain from this study is an understanding that crisis residential programs can work and do work. CRPs are a valuable component of a mental health treatment system." Based on the results of this study, the authors recommend further analyses by demographic and diagnostic subgroups to clarify which patients do better in which settings. And given the difference in daily costs between the CRP ($211) and LIPF ($665), the study's co-authors have concluded that more comparative studies are needed to provide definitive cost analyses. Together with the State of California and the County of Sacramento, the Center for Mental Health Services (http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/cmhs/) funded this study to address the need for more concrete data about differing treatment options, said Risa Fox, a public health officer at the Center for Mental Health Services. "We are trying to obtain the evidence-based data to substantiate what consumers are telling us about the value of these types of services," said Fox. "These findings have reinforced these perceptions and those held by policy makers and administrators that peer managed services are key to mental health transformation." To access a copy of the online report, visit http://www.springerlink.com/co.....61π=4 .
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3:31 am - How to Get off Drug Manual: Benzos
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seasontoseason
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BENZODIAZEPINES: HOW THEY WORK AND HOW TO WITHDRAW (aka The Ashton Manual)
• PROTOCOL FOR THE TREATMENT OF BENZODIAZEPINE WITHDRAWAL • Medical research information from a benzodiazepine withdrawal clinic
Professor C Heather Ashton DM, FRCP Revised August 2002
• Ashton Manual Index Page • Contents Page • Introduction • Chapter I: The benzodiazepines: what they do in the body • Chapter II: How to withdraw from benzodiazepines after long-term use • Chapter II: Slow withdrawal schedules • Chapter III: Benzodiazepine withdrawal symptoms, acute & protracted
** For withdrawing from other psych drugs, see
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3:22 am - new book about pysch drugs
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seasontoseason
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Gwen Olsen – the Rx Reformer
Gwen Olsen spent fifteen years as a sales rep in the pharmaceutical industry working for health care giants including Johnson & Johnson, Syntex Labs, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Abbott Laboratories and Forest Laboratories.
In Confessions of an Rx Drug Pusher, Gwen Olsen brings together the knowledge of an “insider” trained to sell doctors on the merits of pills; the personal experience of having taken psychiatric medications and seen how they altered her life; and the deep grief of having lost her niece—following her treatment with psychiatric medications—to suicide. This book has both an intellectual and emotional punch that readers will long remember. Robert Whitaker, Author of “Anatomy of an Epidemic” Everyone is at risk for a prescription drug tragedy: Gwen offers an insider’s knowledge of dangers from the pharmaceutical industry. Her poignant autobiographical journey through the darkness of mental illness and the catastrophic consequences that lurk in medicine cabinets around the country offers an honest glimpse into alarming statistics and a health care system ranked last among nineteen industrialized nations worldwide. As a former sales rep for Pharma, Gwen learned firsthand how an unprecedented number of lethal drugs are unleashed onto an unsuspecting public. It is easy to disregard prescription drug deaths, medical errors, and U.S. health care crisis statistics as just numbers. However, they are not. In a well researched, impeccably documented, finely written manner Gwen Olsen has given us account of the gripping details of real people hurt by the failures of modern health care. A former pharmaceutical representative herself, the information is as credible as it is compelling. It is vital for those currently taking prescription medication to read and understand this book. Dr. Ben Lerner, New York Times best selling-author of “Body by God” As a mental health activist, Gwen has testified before the Food and Drug Administration’s Psycho-pharmacology committee, as well as many legislative committees, and has led rallies and marches in protest against psychiatric abuse. Gwen’s message is a call to action and a plea for each of us to step up and do our part to help create a medical system that serves all and does harm to none! When you realize what is being sold to you as a “remedy” you will realize how you are playing Russian Roulette with yours and your children’s lives. This book is a MUST read for every American and every parent in the country. Meria Heller, Producer/Host–The Meria Heller Show
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 26th, 2011
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3:44 am - resources for CBT for psychosis
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seasontoseason
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lots of great handouts for anyone who wants to try / learn about using cognitive behavioral therapy for psychosis
Key Points – describes some of the key features of cognitive therapy for psychosis Resources for CBT for Psychosis – lists many books and some websites that are either directly about cognitive therapy for psychosis, or present related approaches. Resources for trauma and psychosis – lists books, articles & websites specifically about the intersection of trauma and psychosis. Coping with Voices List: this is a collection of coping ideas people have used for voices. Spectrum of Voices: This handout describes the continuum between “normal thoughts” and “voices,” by listing a variety of intermediate phenomena, from intrusive thoughts to “channeling.” Stories of kids and voices: Some short case examples offering hope to anyone working with kids. Note the key intervention is just to get the kids to use their imagination in a positive way to counter troublesome voices. How can we tell whether our suspicious thoughts are justified: A great one page handout encouraging more thoughtfulness about suspicious thoughts (paranoia)! Common misconceptions: this handout compares common or traditional beliefs about schizophrenia and psychosis with the cognitive therapy perspective. Safety Behavior Comparison: This handout shows how the current approach to neuroleptics is based on the same kind of faulty logic as that used by many people with psychological problems: the system focuses on short term benefit while ignoring long term problems. Participatory Approach Neuroleptics: This article explains why a new approach to neuroleptic (“antipsychotic”) medication is needed, and then describes some features of a new approach. Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs is written to help consumers compare risks of staying on psychiatric drugs with the risks of reducing or getting off them, and then to provide information for those who may choose to attempt to reduce or discontinue the drugs. How I tamed the voices in my head: An article, including a good case example, that explains some new perspectives on voice hearing. The Mad Doctor Rufus May: this is an inspiring story of a once “hopeless schizophrenic” who ignored the doom-sayers, became a PhD psychologist and now an international leader in alternative approaches. Diagram on healthy emotions: This handout illustrates a middle way between being either being dominated by or attempting to block out, both emotions and voices. A fairly recent article in the American Journal of Psychiatry, 163:365-373, March 2006 was written by two of the leaders in the cognitive therapy for psychosis field, introducing the method to an American audience. Paranoia: the website. Lots of information, personal experiences, and coping ideas. Fidelity with cognivite therapy for psychosis: This is a fidelity scale for use with cognitive therapy for psychosis. Source: Ron Unger
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| Monday, December 27th, 2010
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9:52 pm - Democracy Now! has a full hour with Dr. Gabor Maté
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seasontoseason
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Today, a Democracy Now! special with the Canadian physician and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté. From disease to addiction, parenting to attention deficit disorder, Dr. Maté’s work focuses on the centrality of early childhood experiences to the development of the brain, and how those experiences can impact everything from behavioral patterns to physical and mental illness. While the relationship between emotional stress and disease, and mental and physical health more broadly, is often considered controversial within medical orthodoxy, Dr. Maté argues too many doctors seem to have forgotten what was once a commonplace assumption, that emotions are deeply implicated in both the development of illness, addictions and disorders, and in their healing.
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| Monday, August 30th, 2010
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2:33 am - up to you
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hoore
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'......."Who breaks the Law--" said Moreau, taking his eyes off his victim, and turning towards us (it seemed to me there was a touch of exultation in his voice).
"Goes back to the House of Pain," they all clamoured,--"goes back to the House of Pain, O Master!"
"Back to the House of Pain,--back to the House of Pain," gabbled the Ape-man, as though the idea was sweet to him. ......'
from: The Island Of Dr Moreau by H. G. Wells
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| Sunday, August 29th, 2010
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6:38 am - Love her because she is ugly
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hoore
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Maybe it is about the most serious mental illnesses in the world, thinking you're smarter then your psychiatrist. I'm not only thinking I'm absolutely certain I am. This woman was my psychiatrist from '82 till '91.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 10th, 2010
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2:02 pm - “Sanity remains defined simply by the ability to cope with insane conditions"
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| Monday, August 9th, 2010
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11:09 pm
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deerbehindglass
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Hello, I'm new here. My name's Lisa, and i've been diagnosed with various disorders (they had trouble pinning me down.) After terrible stints with therapists, hospitals, and medications, I have quit all of it. I apologize if this topic has already been beaten to death or if it's off-topic.
I have been doing research into nutrition and the vitamins/minerals that are linked to mental 'health.' I still suffer from a lot of anxiety and I have trouble managing it; I think some of it may come from what I eat.
Does anyone here have a diet that is primarily directed by their mental health? Or any knowledge of the topic? Please share anything, thanks!
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, July 12th, 2010
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12:33 am - antipsychiatry.org
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| Tuesday, July 6th, 2010
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6:46 pm - new zines from clementine cannibal
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lickingstarsoff
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"i knew a motherfucker like you and she said..." #2 edited by clementine cannibal, 1/4 size, 68 pages, $3.00
the 2nd issue is here! written by adrian fynch, casey jean, christine stoddard, clementine cannibal, cocoa/puss, cryptstine maria, foxy mudslide, ele, jessica, jolie nunez-noggle, katie deee, kat, kitty pryde, liat hannah, louise, marcia glover, maygun, sally synonymous, sandy, star blanket river child and sugarheart. these grrrls are fierce, intelligent, introspective and brave. topics include: sexuality in various forms, being a grrrl, menstruation, abuse, relationships, anger, falling in love, sexism and figuring out what we want in life. i really can't do it justice with a description. each grrrl comes forward with her voice, her piece and it really opens up your mind and reassures you to hear so many grrrls living and feeling and fighting and surviving and fucking and choosing and figuring it out for ourselves, on our own terms. thank you so much to every grrrl who contributed! both issues have turned out amazing and i am so happy to be doing this!

licking stars off ceilings #16 by clementine cannibal, 1/4 size, 56 pages, $3.00
this issue is all about growth, change, motion forward. it is a zine about waking up, digging up the words buried deep. i write about and to and for and by grrrrlness, i invoke the grrrlVIRUS, drudge it up from where's it's been forgotten. i write about finding inspiration and remembering who i am. i write about adventures on my bike in the don valley, sex and sexuality, love, spirituality, quitting drinking and other things. it's a hand written zine and i really like how the layout turned out. it's a zine about being happy, loving life, gaining wisdom and moving forward.

licking stars off ceilings #15 / watch him bleed #3 by clementine cannibal and ivana stab, 1/4 size, 40 pages, $3.00
this is a split with my friend ivana's zine 'watch him bleed'. in my half i write about the girlVIRUS and what it means to me, food and the importance of eating, dealing with change, learning to live in the present, fucking my man under a bridge, coming to terms with my past, falling even more in love, my grrrl katryn and playing guitar. there's also a cartoon of me learning to ride my bike, drawn by my man. in her half, ivana writes about figuring out who she is, her childhood memories of living in the former yugoslavia, how war has effected her life and her firmly anti-war beliefs, attraction based on style, boys, feeling alive, school and the girlVIRUS and what it means to her. she also has an amazing piece about what she's lost and what she's got. these topics among others fill the pages and i think ivana's and i's style compliment each other perfectly. check out ivana's other zines for sure!

licking stars off ceilings #14 by clementine cannibal, 1/4 size, 40 pages, $3.00
this issue is about growth, new beginnings. the first half has stuff about my exboyfriend that i wrote while we were dating. it's an outlet of the pain and betrayal i felt. i write about the pressure to have 'vaginal orgasms'. i also write about feeling like my life is divided up into 'issues', like being queer, being locked up, sexual violence etc, when i want it to feel more cohesive, overlapping, like how it feels as i live it. the second half is about discovering myself and living in different ways, feeling new things, dancing again, falling in love hardcore with ashton. it's about guitar and learning to ride my bike. there's a drawing by ashton and a postcard i hold dear, sent to me by one of my favourite zinesters.

licking stars off ceilings #13 / mrs. noggle #19 by clementine cannibal and jolie nunez-noggle, 1/4 size, 48 pages, $3.00
this issue is a split with my friend jolie's zine 'mrs. noggle'. my half was written right after a painful breakup, but it focuses on the positive. i write about girlzines, masturbation, female sexual anatomy, sexuality, stds and safer sex, guitar, my ex and wanting more out of life. in her half, jolie writes about relationships with girls and the issues she's had, a show called 'bad girls club', a show called 'just say julie', anxiety, wanting more out of life and projects she is working on. if you like girlzines, get two awesome girlzines in one! jolie is a really kickass grrrl and you should check out more of her work!
to check out the rest of my catalog click here.
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| Sunday, May 2nd, 2010
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5:21 am
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acidexia
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++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The musical fight has begun. Raising awareness on forced institutionalization, stigma and abuse toward the mentally ill, the overmedication of artistic misfits, and a status quo definition of reality- the 2 CD digipack compilation entitled “Sanity is Slavery” will be released on machineKUNT Records and include a free digital bonus disc. 10% of proceeds will go to MindFreedom International, an organization dedicated to mental health rights and stopping psychiatric abuse.
The compilation features 48 diverse (mostly unreleased) tracks from artists across the globe including Attrition, Hanin Elias, Leæther Strip, amGod, Pzychobitch, and Trimetrick. It is being mastered by Kolja Trelle of Soman.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pre-order by clicking below and receive special goodies from the artists on this compilation:

Options:
$5: A thank-you on the linear notes, a Necrotek sticker and button, and an Experiment Haywire patch
$10: A thank-you on the linear notes, a download of the 'Sanity is Slavery' 2 CD digipack, (plus the digital bonus disc) & a machineKUNT poster
$15: A thank-you on the linear notes, a copy of the 'Sanity is Slavery' 2 CD digipack, (plus the digital bonus disc) a machineKUNT poster, a live recording of a Malfaktor session, & the UCNX - 'Throw Up' digital single (album art included)
$25: A thank-you on the linear notes, a copy of the 'Sanity is Slavery' 2 CD digipack, (plus the digital bonus disc) a machineKUNT poster, a copy of 'Extreme Women in the Dark Future' (machineKUNT's first compilation featuring 18 hardcore female industrial acts) a copy of machineKUNT recording artist Lady Parasyte's debut EP 'Sirens', & an Attrition poster
$50: A thank-you on the linear notes, a copy of the 'Sanity is Slavery' 2 CD digipack, (plus the digital bonus disc) a machineKUNT poster, a signed copy of 'The Insanity Culture's Manifesto' written by Rachel Haywire, (originally published in 'Acidexia') a Nitrous Flesh 'Shadow Fracture' CD and sticker, (rare occult/dark ambient side-project of Necrotek) & a surprise from Aunia Kahn of AfterChain
$70: A thank-you on the linear notes, a copy of the 'Sanity is Slavery' 2 CD digipack, (plus the digital bonus disc) a machineKUNT poster, & an original signed painting by Lady Mystery made exclusively for 'Sanity is Slavery'
$85: A thank-you on the linear notes, a copy of the 'Sanity is Slavery' 2 CD digipack, (plus the digital bonus disc) a machineKUNT poster, a Cindergarden poster from 'The Clandestine Experiment' era, & a professional remix of one of your songs by De-Tached (Lanette from Dawn of Ashes)
$100: A thank-you on the linear notes, a copy of the 'Sanity is Slavery' 2 CD digipack, (plus the digital bonus disc) a machineKUNT poster, & a new song created just for you by machineKUNT recording duo Trimetrick with the poem/lyrics of your choice
$150: A BIG thank-you on the linear notes, a copy of the 'Sanity is Slavery' 2 CD digipack, (plus the digital bonus disc) a machineKUNT poster, a new song created just for you by machineKUNT recording duo Trimetrick with the poem/lyrics of your choice, & the last available copy of Trimetrick's "Bitch From Hell" demo signed by both Kate and Michael (with the original lyrics and artwork including a unique pen/pencil hand drawing of Kate and Michael dressed only in boots and gloves!)
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Tracklisting:
DISC 1:
1. Leæther Strip – Happy Pills (Gimmie Gimmie) 2. Pzychobitch – Insane 3. Trimetrick – Beware 4. Hanin Elias – Do You Know 5. Empusa ft. Miss FD – Therapy III 6. Experiment Haywire – Reality is Dead 7. Necrotek – Supernatural Breakdown 8. Attrition – Predicament 9. Verbazlier – Angels Dwell 10. ICI – Master Slave 11. Society Burning – One Foot Nailed to the Floor 12. UCNX – Burning Slowly Down 13. Azida – Mister Die 14. Psyche Corp. – Wonderland 15. Angel of Violence – Mr. Sleep 16. Psy’Aviah – Demons In Mind
DISC 2:
1. amGod – Like a Prayer (Insanity mix) 2. Cindergarden – Medicine 3. Syrenn – These Skeletons 4. Lucidstatic – Fistula 5. Johan Ess – A Treatise On Dionysian Oligarchy 6. EAT BABIES? – The Tender Surrender 7. Curiosity – Tarpit 8. Nurvuss – Tomorrow 9. Lady Parasyte – Sirens 10. De-Tached – Twitch 11. AfterChain – You Broke It 12. Zen Debris – Lucid 13. Lady Mystery – Breaking 14. Choronzon – Disdain Transcends 15. Darklilly – Happiness Can Be Small 16. Studio-X – Axis Temple
DISC 3: (digital bonus disc)
1. Hate in the Box – Bloody Ballerina 2. Lip Service – Model Actress Whatever (Nerwrak mix) 3. Produkt – Decay 4. Malfaktor – The Seed 5. Autoclav1.1 – Walk On Empty (Rydal mix) 6. Vernian Process – Unhallowed Metropolis 7. Daniel Cox ft. Wei – Lost in Translation 8. The Tleilaxu Music Machine – Bizzy 9. Amber Codon – Violet (Hole cover) 10. Protea – Anansi 11. Cyranoid – The Polygon 12. Apocalypse Vacant – Behind Fiction 13. Sabotage – God is Dead 14. Catherine Elms – Not Sorry 15. JuL!e D:stroy – Ladie’s Night 16. Strangelette – Send in the Klowns
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Love and creative insanity, Rachel Haywire
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 25th, 2010
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9:21 pm - GRRRL ZINE CALL FOR SUBMISSION
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lickingstarsoff
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It’s that time again grrrls! I am looking for submissions for the third issue of “I Knew a Motherfucker Like You and She Said…” It’s a compilation zine of writing by grrrls, edited by me (Clementine Cannibal). The theme of the zine is uncensored honesty on topics that we feel we are expected to be silent about. I want the real shit. There are so many things that grrrls are not allowed to say or ask or express. We aren’t allowed to talk about our bodies, histories, sexualities, even our opinions without scorn, violence or humiliation. Grrrls get told to shut up. We get told that we’re stupid, that we aren’t good enough. We are told that we are gross and ugly and should feel ashamed. This is a zine where we refute that, where we express what it’s like to live with that shit put on us, where we make room for each other and listen to each other. It’s not about judging each other, it’s not about being perfect, it’s not about being right, it’s not about silencing each other. It’s about listening to each other, and finding the courage to speak, to say the things you really need to say. We are listening. You can be as bitchy and fucked up as you want. You don’t have to spell shit right. You can rant and rave or write a story. You can bitch about bad lovers. You can tell your deepest secrets. You can tell the truth, how you feel, who you are. You can use a fake name if you want, or pimp your shit off in the zine. You can say shit in this zine that you might feel uncomfortable or scared saying in other places, because we got your back, and we are putting ourselves out there too. This is a girlVIRUS production and it is dedicated to the empowerment of all grrrls. topics might include: rocknroll, punkrock, music in general, sex, pleasure, relationships, violence, sexual violence, drug or alcohol use or abuse, masturbation, ambition, partying, anger, feelings about your body, ways to "riot" or fight back, feelings of grrrl solidarity or feelings of alienation, experiences of humiliation or being "made an example of", things that really matter to you, things that piss you off, experiences with your period, learning about sex: the things you wish you'd known back then, experiences with stds, birth control, reproductive choice, abortion: medical and/or "natural", experiences with work, dealing with grrrl jobs such as retail, service jobs, sex work of various kinds, or trying to "make it" in male dominated jobs or neither or both, mental "health" or "unhealth", or "gofuckyourself i AM healthy", experience with psychwards and that whole psych world, being called or considered crazy/hysterical/emotional
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
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11:27 pm - “I Knew a Motherfucker Like You and She Said…” #3 – CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
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lickingstarsoff
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It’s that time again grrrls! I am looking for submissions for the third issue of “I Knew a Motherfucker Like You and She Said…” It’s a compilation zine of writing by grrrls, edited by me (Clementine Cannibal). The theme of the zine is uncensored honesty on topics that we feel we are expected to be silent about. I want the real shit. There are so many things that grrrls are not allowed to say or ask or express. We aren’t allowed to talk about our bodies, histories, sexualities, even our opinions without scorn, violence or humiliation. Grrrls get told to shut up. We get told that we’re stupid, that we aren’t good enough. We are told that we are gross and ugly and should feel ashamed. This is a zine where we refute that, where we express what it’s like to live with that shit put on us, where we make room for each other and listen to each other. It’s not about judging each other, it’s not about being perfect, it’s not about being right, it’s not about silencing each other. It’s about listening to each other, and finding the courage to speak, to say the things you really need to say. We are listening. You can be as bitchy and fucked up as you want. You don’t have to spell shit right. You can rant and rave or write a story. You can bitch about bad lovers. You can tell your deepest secrets. You can tell the truth, how you feel, who you are. You can use a fake name if you want, or pimp your shit off in the zine. You can say shit in this zine that you might feel uncomfortable or scared saying in other places, because we got your back, and we are putting ourselves out there too. This is a girlVIRUS production and it is dedicated to the empowerment of all grrrls. topics might include: rocknroll, punkrock, music in general, sex, pleasure, relationships, violence, sexual violence, drug or alcohol use or abuse, masturbation, ambition, partying, anger, feelings about your body, ways to "riot" or fight back, feelings of grrrl solidarity or feelings of alienation, experiences of humiliation or being "made an example of", things that really matter to you, things that piss you off, experiences with your period, learning about sex: the things you wish you'd known back then, experiences with stds, birth control, reproductive choice, abortion: medical and/or "natural", experiences with work, dealing with grrrl jobs such as retail, service jobs, sex work of various kinds, or trying to "make it" in male dominated jobs or neither or both, mental "health" or "unhealth", or "gofuckyourself i AM healthy", experience with psychwards and that whole psych world, being called or considered crazy/hysterical/emotional
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, March 22nd, 2010
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2:37 pm - New Blogger
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